


Much Too Prone to Falling

by calmanditsdr



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: And talking about lemon tarts, Is Will in love with Jem? Maybe? Not even Will knows, It isn't anything serious, Lots of metaphors and prose I'm proud of, M/M, Magnus trying to give Will advice, Post Clockwork Angel, They end up kissing, Why Did I Write This?, Will thinks he's cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:06:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmanditsdr/pseuds/calmanditsdr
Summary: “Have you ever loved someone?” Will asked.Magnus noticed the way Will’s mouth didn’t close when he was done speaking. “Yes,” he answered. “Many someones.”“Tell me about them,” Will said.Memories turned in their freshly covered graves. While remembering faces, while searching for names, Magnus realized that while he had taken hundreds of lovers into his bed, only a few had made it into his heart.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Much Too Prone to Falling

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this

The dimming fire cast a soft glow across Will Herondale’s tired face. The flickering oranges and crimsons managed to make elegant his tangled, messy hair. His picture was equally elegant--stretched out on the soft, Persian rug, one leg bent beneath the other, an arm tucked behind his neck, his blue eyes cast to the plaster decorated ceiling. 

On the other side of the drawing room sat Magnus Bane, bent over a thick old book about demons. His suit remained sharp and unwrinkled despite his poor posture that folded his lavender waistcoat in the most horrendous of ways. His hair had lost its stiffness as the night had dragged on, and the dark strands that were usually laid back with product were beginning to fall down over his forehead. He flipped a yellowed page. 

“You know,” Magnus said, the words before him becoming blurry. “For someone who came to me begging to help him get rid of his curse, you don’t seem very interested in getting it done.” 

Will lifted his head. “What?” 

Magnus sighed and closed his book. “You could help more,” he said. 

Will dropped his head back down. “I’m not not helping. I’m just thinking.” He looked into the fireplace. The heat felt uncomfortable to his eyes, but he didn’t look away. 

“About?” Magnus asked. 

Will swallowed. “Jem.” He blinked at the flames. “Tessa.” 

Magnus closed his eyes. “I should’ve known.” 

“Magnus, they--they’re why I want your help,” Will confessed, dreariness ridding him of not only his filter but also his embarrassment. “I love them, and I know I’ll never be able to stop, and I’m scared it’ll drive Jem to death and that Tessa will find out, and it’ll kill her too.”

Magnus set his book to the side and peeled himself up off the couch to join Will on the rug. 

“I would love loving them,” Will continued, “I wish I could. I’d give Jem more of my heart than I already have. I’d heal him; I’d find a way.” 

Magnus cast his tired gaze to Will’s face. “I can’t imagine,” he sympathized. 

Magnus’s already heavy chest tightened impossibly more when Will turned to look at him. “Have you ever loved someone?” Will asked. 

Magnus noticed the way Will’s mouth didn’t close when he was done speaking. “Yes,” he answered. “Many someones.” 

“Tell me about them,” Will said. 

Memories turned in their freshly covered graves. While remembering faces, while searching for names, Magnus realized that while he had taken hundreds of lovers into his bed, only a few had made it into his heart. 

“Imasu,” Magnus said, though the word came out a pinched whisper. He cleared his throat. “He tried to teach me how to play the charango, but I never learned. I think I was more interested in my instructor than my lessons.” 

Magnus paused and searched Will’s face for any adverse reaction to the implication that he had once loved a man, but Will simply watched him with imploring eyes, silently asking him to continue. 

So Magnus did. “Camille,” he confessed. “She’s--I thought she was perfect. She stood up to the Nephilim in the way I only ever dreamed of doing. And she’s beautiful. She’s gorgeous. I know she’s going to break my heart, and it’s my fault for giving her that power in the first place.”

He paused, and Will didn’t interrupt. 

“Will, if she walked in this room right now and said she’d love me forever if I begged for it, I’d get on my knees in a heartbeat.” 

Will blew out a breath. “Damn.”

Magnus nodded, his eyes locked unseeingly on the floor. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes until the fire nearly winked out. It pulled Magnus back into focus, and he magicked the flames back to life. After monitoring the grate to ensure the fire wasn’t growing more than it should, Magnus lay back on the floor as well. He joined Will in studying the ceiling. 

“How do you stop?” Will asked.

Still looking up, Magnus replied, “Stop what?” 

“Loving someone.” 

At that, Magnus turned his head to face Will. “What?”

Will threw an arm across his face. “How do you stop loving someone?” His elbow muffled his question. 

Magnus’s eyebrows pulled together. “You don’t,” he replied. “You move on, you love other people, but you can never stop loving someone. If you can stop, you never actually loved them in the first place.” 

Will pressed the heels of his hands into his closed eyes. 

“Charity never faileth,” Magnus lamented. 

“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity,” Will responded. 

Magnus narrowed his eyes. His silence prompted Will to elaborate. 

“I’ve looked for answers everywhere. The Bible seemed like a good start to figure out how to get uncursed.” 

Magnus snorted, and Will dropped his hands to his chest and opened his eyes. The blue of them brought a brightness to the dim room. 

When Will turned his head to face Magnus, Magnus thought he might evaporate. Will looked at him for a moment, his expression a completely different shade than the tone of the conversation.

“So can you see really well in the dark?” Will asked. 

Magnus blinked at him. “Pardon?” 

Magnus noticed the way Will’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before he answered. “You know how cats can see really well in the dark? How they’re in alleys at night, and their eyes glow when your witchlight hits them right?” 

Magnus returned his gaze to the ceiling and rolled his eyes. He considered feigning offense. “I don’t know.” He decided against it. “I’ve never seen any way other than the way I see, so I don’t know what to tell you.” 

Will’s growing smile fell. “I wasn’t being rude was I?” His eyes widened. “I was truly just curious.”

Magnus grinned. “Not at all.” He turned to lay on his side. The floor had no give, but the rug was plush enough against Magnus’s bony shoulder to ward him from discomfort. “I can ask you a weird question now if you’d like. You know, to make it even?” 

Will’s smile returned. “Go for it.” 

Magnus tried not to let his eyes roam Will’s face. The boy was beautiful--in the way nature was beautiful. In the objective way mountains and birds and trees and rivers were beautiful. When he found himself staring at Will’s mouth, he immediately started talking and looked pointedly to his eyes instead. “What’s your favorite food?”

Will furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s not a weird question.” 

“Well, are you going to answer it?”

“Give me a second. I need to think.” 

Will closed his eyes and hummed. He must have been mentally flipping through a cookbook the amount of time it took for him to conclude, “Charlotte made these delicious lemon tarts once.” 

“Oh?” 

Will opened his eyes. “Yeah, and since then Bridget’s tried to recreate them, but they’re never as good.” 

They started into a silence that was only awkward in Magnus’s imagination. Should he come up with an actually weird question like he’d offered to do? Or should he consider sufficient the question he did ask Will? 

When Magnus escaped from his thoughts, he noticed that Will had closed his eyes again, tightly this time. His mouth was pulled to one side as if he were biting his cheek. 

A few moments later, Will said, “Magnus, I have another question.”

His tone had become serious once more. 

“My favorite color?” Magnus joked. 

Will sighed. “No, I…” He blinked open his eyes. “Magnus, what’s it like to love another man?” 

Magnus’s breath caught in his throat. “You mean like--”

“Like I see Tessa, and she’s everything. She’s strong, but soft, and beautiful, and powerful. And I--” he paused for a moment, considering, “You know this, it doesn’t matter--I love her. For those immaterial, personal ways I just said, but also physically. I’m attracted to her.” 

He bit his lip and stole a nervous glance at Magnus to see how his rambling was being received. When met with listening ears and concerned eyes, he mustered the courage to continue. 

“And then there’s Jem.” His _parabatai_ ’s name flowed like a prayer from his mouth. “He is everything I’m not while being everything I am. I was born with half a soul, and he carries a soul and a half. If the word soulmate didn’t carry romantic connotations, that would be the perfect way to describe who he is to me. But then I’ll find myself thinking about it, and I don’t hate the romantic connotation.”

Magnus made a mental note to suggest that Will become a poet.

Will continued, slowly and carefully. “When I think about Tessa--about touching her. About her touching me, it’s nice. 

“And sometimes I’ve thought about Jem that way too. And it’s nice as well, but in a completely different way that I don’t know how to explain.” 

Magnus understood. His own attraction to men felt different than his attraction to women. He agreed that it was impossible to explain. He struggled to come up with any sound advice but offered what he could. 

“It’s a lot like loving a woman,” Magnus began. “It’s definitely different, but not too much. It feels different. It’s closer in a way. Will, I don’t--what do you want to know?” 

Will took a deep breath then sat up. “Well,” he crossed his legs beneath himself and sat his hands in his lap. “I want you to kiss me.” 

Magnus definitely heard him incorrectly. “Pardon?”

Will blew out an exasperated breath. “Don’t make me say it again.” 

So Magnus had heard him correctly. He blinked several times. “No, I won’t do it if you don’t say it again.” 

Will’s mouth fell open, then he closed it again. He looked away from Magnus and at the fire. The flames were hypnotic but not more mesmerizing than his thoughts. When he gathered them, he turned back toward Magnus and repeated himself. “I want you to kiss me.” 

Magnus wasted no time in sitting up, cupping Will’s face with a gentle hand, and bringing their lips together. 

It was quick, and Magnus wanted to do it again the second he pulled away. Instead, he sat back and waited for Will’s response. 

Will opened his eyes slowly and stared down at nothing. The tense silence dragged out for a few moments before Will finally made eye contact with Magnus again. Then he glanced at his mouth. 

Magnus grew positively dizzy watching Will trying to decide if he wanted to look at Magnus’s eyes or his lips. He nearly fainted when Will got on his knees, crawled over to him, and connected their lips once more. 

Magnus let his eyes close. He let himself feel Will’s hand come to his neck and his fingers reach up into his hair. He wanted to let go and give into the kiss, but Will’s breathing was quickening much too soon. 

Magnus brought his hands to Will’s sides and gently pushed him away. Will sat back on his knees, the leather of his boots creaking as they creased under his weight. “What?” Will asked, tongue darting across his lips. 

Magnus wished Will would stop looking at his mouth. “You asked me to kiss you, and I did.” 

Will’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Can we do it again?” His shoulders raised and fell with his breath, his heart doubtlessly hammering in his chest. His expression was an open, inviting door. Another kiss would deposit Magnus across the threshold, and he knew he wouldn’t be capable of showing himself out. So he’d remain on the stoop and close the door himself. 

“No,” Magnus said shortly. 

Will blinked at him. “Oh,” he whispered. 

They slipped into a silence that was awkward even in Magnus’s imagination. Should he ask Will how it was? Should he move away from him? Or just continue on like they had never kissed?

Suddenly, Will jumped up from the floor. “I should probably head out,” he said, straightening his clothes that were never neat. 

Magnus stood up too. “I’ll get your coat,” he politely offered. 

At the door, Will took his coat from Magnus and shoved his arms into it rather forcefully. Once it was on, he held tightly to the ends of his sleeves to keep his hands from shaking. 

“So are you still going to help me?” Will asked. 

“Find the demon who cursed you?” Magnus said. 

Will nodded. 

“Do I have the option not to?” 

Will chuckled and looked down at his shoes. His hair fell in his face and stayed there even when he looked back up. Magnus wished he had touched it. 

“It’s okay to love him, you know,” Magnus said quietly. 

Will nodded but seemed distracted. Magnus hoped he had heard him. 

Before he opened the door to leave, Will paused with his hand on the knob. “Thank you,” he said, struggling for the first time that night to meet Magnus’s gaze. “For...for…” 

“Of course,” Magnus interrupted, and Will was grateful for it. He smiled a gentle smile, mostly with his eyes, before opening the door and stepping out into the night. 

Magnus locked the door behind Will and dropped his forehead against the wood. Flooding his mind were unfounded images of fewer clothes and more touching and eye contact from compromising angles. When he came back to himself, Magnus took a deep breath to clear his head. Will’s eyes were much too blue, and Magnus’s heart was much too prone to falling. 

**Author's Note:**

> I COULDN'T GET THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY GOD I DON'T SHIP WILL AND MAGNUS OF COURSE I JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE AND I COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD 
> 
> TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT HAVE READ OUR FATHERS' SINS: I'M WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER IT SHOULD BE OUT SOON I PROMISE I LOVE YOU 
> 
> :-)


End file.
